Summer Road Trip

So Cody turned the BIG 10 on Friday, July, 12th this year. I had to work 3p-11p, so Justin handled the festivities. He picked up Cody's friend from school, Darien, and they got a cable needed for Cody's new Xbox. Darien gave him a headset to wear when he plays Xbox Live. They went to dinner and bowling.
     The next morning, Saturday, (7/13) I got up and tried to hurry and pack.The kids has mostly packed all their clothes a few days prior, but I had been making sure the lawn was mowed, laundry was done, and going to Yoga, before I went into work each day, and hadn't gotten around to packing. By around 11:00 we were ready to go. Earlier that morning Justin drove me over to the Fisher's house to pick-up the Denali, they were letting me borrow for the trip. I decided to make a quick trip to the Library to get some books on CD. By the time we did that, went back to the house because I forgot my tennis shoes, (stupid orthopedic insoles), and went thru Chic-fil-a drive thru, it was about 1pm. Finally headed North. We got the Nashville about 12am EST. I was nice, the kids of course watched movies on the built-in DVD player. The only bad thing was I couldn't listen to CD's at the same time. so after every movie, we'd listen to a "Book CD". By the time we got there we'd finished "A Taste for Red", a book about a girl who thinks she's a vampire, and maybe her teacher is too. It was cute. While they watched movies I listened to XM radio, 90's on 9. Brought back some memories. The songs were so familiar, I could sing along, but the titles and artists were totally new to me. Back before satellite radio, and google, people didn't always catch the names of every song, or band.
     Sunday, (7/14) we got up and went to church with mom and dad. I told the kids if we got there on time, we'd only stay for sacrament since we were still so tired. But if they poked around and made us late, we'd stay the whole 3 hours. Amazingly, we got there on time. They had 3 great speakers, and I was so glad I didn't sleep in and just stay home. The youth speaker spoke on passion, and how we must bridle our desires. That having desires aren't bad, but when they are unchecked, they can cause problems in out life. I thought about my desire to have another baby, and for the first time, thought maybe it's a passion that is left unchecked, and so it is taking over my life. The next speaker was one of the Truman boys' wife. She spoke about sacrifices, and how our desire to let God's will be done is one of the few things we can truly give the Lord. And I thought about maybe my trying to handle infertility without being bitter, was a sacrifice for me. To let go of the pain and sadness and not cling to it for validation, and not let it define me and every choice I make for the rest of my life, would be accepting His will.  Lastly, a brother got up and spoke about being our brother's keeper. That his own brother was inactive, and how we should spend as much time trying to fellowship the less active family and friends we know, as we do the strangers on our visiting/home teaching lists. That the lord expects us to help and watch over them. So of course I thought of Justin and agreed. I pretty much cried thru all of sacrament. After church we rested. I tried out the new remodeled gym. It was nice, I did the bike, and some arm/shoulder work on the weight machines. Then mom and I swam awhile. That night we had the Chicken with Egg Noodles over mashed potatoes.
      Monday (7/15) was a waste of a day, well, almost. I had to spend 3 hours doing online traffic school, for a speeding ticket I got April 23. (38 in 20 school zone by Ward Highlands Elem). Got all but the last hour done, and mom was like I'm hungry, wanna go get something to eat? Yea, break time. So we went to Panera, I got some butternut squash and cheese ravioli. De-lish!Then we went to Goodwill. I got about 5-6 skirts for church, and only spent about $25. Super happy. Most were black and white, to match shirts I already had. I intended to go thru my closet when I got home. Since I've lost some weight, and some old pieces I'm just tired of. Dad had taken the boys to Bowling Green to play with cousins for a while, and they called to see if they could spend the night. So I said yes, that was a nice break. That night when day got home we had out Father/Daughter conference I requested. We talked about a lot of things: Julie's pregnancy, my lack of pregnancy, how I felt my relationship with mom was being affected. My frustration at what I felt was a lack of sensitivity. And how I felt that if I was happy for Julie, people would think I wasn't sad anymore, and that no one needed to be sensitive to me. He gave me a rope, and explained the rope was our family, and sometimes issues between Julie and I cause the rope to be knotted up. And I have to continually be working to undo the knots. I came to some realizations: Not being happy for Julie, was only hurting me, and it certainly wasn't helping me get pregnant. I'm the "Julie" in my family. Of the 4 kids in my family, I live closest to my parents and I spend the most time with them. No wonder, my position with them, or my sense of love from them, never seems to be challenged. I never question my place, or feel jealous of my siblings. Even when April was pregnant. I also realized that maybe I hurt Julie's feelings a long time ago when I was pregnant with Cameron and she was married to Eric. I knew she wanted to have a baby, and it was hard for her not to allow herself to get pregnant, because she knew it wasn't a good idea to get in that situation with Eric. I told her many times, she should leave him and find someone who really loved her, (everyone told her that). In my mind, I never saw her staying with him, I knew she'd find someone else, like I had after Kevin. But I because of my own stress of being newly married and a baby on the way, I'm sure I wasn't as sensitive as I should have been to her feelings of wanting to have a baby, and what she her idea of fair was. I'm so sorry for that now. I want to find the right way to tell her that someday. I felt some sense of closure when I asked dad if all the advice and about being the bigger person, and forgiving was being preached to Julie the way it was to me. He said, oh yeah, Mom and Dad crap floats both ways.
He offered to give me a blessing. In it he said that the Lord loved me very much, and was very aware of my desire to have another baby. He counseled me to remember to do my best at the things I could control, and to remember the saviors atonement meant he understands all my pain. And he hoped the desire of my heart would be fulfilled. I am so grateful for Justin's parents, their love for me, and my close relationship with them.
     Tuesday (7/16) Mom and I went to that cute restaurant in Hendersonville, The Chocolate Covered Strawberry. The strawberry was so big, deep red, and sweet, I don't know how they get such good ones so late in the season. I had the monte cristo sandwich this time, which is the ham/turkey on a toasted waffle with powdered sugar... Yum-O! And a scoop of egg salad. Then we stopped by the Indian Lakes shopping center and went to Bath & Body Works. I just got a few bottles of hand soap, and some lotion on clearance. Dad brought the kids back from KY. We had yummy sloppy joes and tater tots for dinner. And we had some pool time.
     Wednesday (7/17) we went to KY so Julie and I could take all the kids to the Water Park that was near their old house. The kids always have a lot of fun. I was nervous because I thought things would be awkward between Julie and I. She acted normal when I got there, but I felt some things should be said, I wanted to clear the air. We went in her room and talked for over and hour, poor Molly kept wanting to come in because we told her we were going to the consignment store before the water park. I started with telling Julie that I wanted to be happy for her, and that I was sorry that it was hard for me. She said, Don't be sorry, you didn't ask for this, and I know you don't want things to be this way. She said she had felt guilty for being pregnant, and often wondered why her, why not me? She wished it would happen for me, and that if it would be easier for me not talk about baby related things, that was fine with her. It was the best talk I've ever had with her, where I've felt she was so sincere in concern for me. I told her at first, I didn't think I'd want to talk about the baby, but now I felt like a burden had been lifted, and I could be happy for her. And I'd missed 2 months of hearing about things, and I wanted to be filled in. We went off to the thrift store with Molly, I got a black wood slat bench for $20, to put by my back door. And a rustic old chair, that I primed white and planned to use some of Julie's blue/teal paint to finish it. I wanted to use it as a computer chair in Cameron's room. (Now that the office has become his bedroom). Then we went off to the water park, and all had a great time. Kept cool, had sno cones, nachos, chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches, etc. The registers were down when we got there, so they said go on in, and come back later to pay. About 30 mins before they closed, Julie went to see about paying, and they said, Don't Worry about it. It's really cheap, only like $13 for me and my boys, but free is even better. We got home and had the left over sloppy joes and chips I brought from Nana's. Took the kids to Baskin Robbins for ice cream. Then we rested and watched Julie's ultrasound video. Finally we got back to Nana's around midnight. When I got home Julie texted me a picture, she had painted the chair blue for me, and right in the middle of her kitchen floor. She was brave, and that was very sweet.
     Thursday (7/18) afternoon, Julie and her kids came down, so we take the kids to the Opry Mills mall. Mom didn't come this time, smart woman. My feet hurt so bad after 2 hours, even with my special insoles. The kids were pretty behaved. Cameron spent $50 of his own money on a shirt, socks, and shorts at the Nike Outlet. I got my head bands at Vera Bradley. I got both boys a couple shirts at American Eagle and Cody spent some birthday cash at GameStop and bought a used version of Call of Duty, and it was still $40. I asked the boys if it was harder spending their own money, they said yeah a little. It started pouring on the way home, so the Coots wound up spending the night.
     Friday (7/19) we got up and the kids went outside behind mom's apartment complex, where they were having a Free Circus. It was more like a carnival, since there weren't any animals. But there were free hot dogs, little bags of chips, sno cones, cookies, they even had an ice cream truck. Plus they had carnival games like pop the balloons with a dart, Corn Hole, etc. And a bounce house. Molly, Cody and Brayden loved it. Cameron slept thru it all. Carter, was slightly entertained I think. I appreciated the free lunch at the very least. Then we headed over the pool. We swam a few hours and then went back to mom's house. I had texted with Lisa earlier, that I would leave Nashville around 7pm, instead of 4:30pm, since she wanted to go on a date with Amory. It's a 3 hour drive to Birmingham, so we'd get there later. When Dad got home, he watched the kids so me, mom, and Julie could get out of the house for a little bit. We just went to Panera's and ate, and then walked around Hobby Lobby. I was looking for a tall basket I could put lap blankets in, for back at home. Either they were too small, or the ones that were tall enough, were wicker basket/hampers, and they want $50+. No thanks! We got home and packed up and left about 8pm. Just before we left, I took a pregnancy test, but it was negative (felt like Spring Break all over again). I had snuck off to Walmart and bought 2 off the cheapest test they had for 88 cents. I had gotten a period in April, May, and June, and each cycle was exactly 31 days apart. Technically it wasn't due until the next day, put I was planning to go to the temple then, and didn't want to be caught off guard. Since it was negative I figured, no surprise, I'll start tomorrow. We got to Birmingham about 11pm. Lisa put me in Bella's room, and my boys got Enoch's bunk beds, since he was still in Murfreesboro with his aunt/uncle. Something made me ask Lisa if her water was good tasting. She said, oh yeah, there's a water dispenser in the fridge. So I filled up my Tervis cup I had brought with me (but hadn't used the whole time at Nana's) and took a big swig, the water was so bitter. All thru the night I wake up thirsty, and I'd take a big swig, forgetting the horrible taste. I decided I need to buy some bottles of water the next day.
     Saturday (7/20) I got up early and went to the Birmingham Temple to do a session, since Lisa was up early doing a long run with one of her friends. Her temple looks just like the Nashville Temple. In the celestial room, I decided not to pray about babies. I prayed for Cameron and Cody to have a good school year this coming year. And that Cameron would gain a testimony that would help him stay close to the church throughout his life. I prayed that Justin would desire to come back to church, soon, and that I would be prompted to know what to say or do to help him. When I got on the Interstate to get back to Lisa's home, it immediately became a parking lot. It took 30 mins to go about 3 miles, to get off on the next exit and detour my way home. Good thing I had the GPS. It did lead me home. I was starving my then, since I'd only had an apple for breakfast. Lisa was home too, so we made lunch, and decided to take the kids to a place called Turkey Creek. It was so fun! I've never seen a river like that in FL. It was part of a State Park, and as you drive in, the road is one way, and on the right side, there is no guard rail. The road is up high, and river far down below. We could see spots that look like river rapids, flowing over rocks, and calm spots that were pretty shallow. We got to the main parking area, by the main swimming area. We get in and the water was pretty cold. I don't think quite as cold as a spring (72 degrees) but it was refreshing on a hot day. I thought it was gonna be a warm, murky river like in Florida, so I didn't wear a bathing suit. I wished I had. I slipped a few times, because the big flat rocks are slippery with algae. I got my shorts pretty wet. There was a large shallow area, and even though the small river rocks are smooth like pebbles, it hurts your feet to walk on them. The kids and I gathered rocks, like we do seashells at the beach. Too bad we didn't have inner tubes or floats. Lots of people stood at the top of the rocks, and road the waterfall down like a slide to the deeper swimming hole area. Bella finally just went down on her butt, and had to be rescued by a guy down there, apparently the current coming off the rocks, made it hard to swim back up.
We had to leave after only 2-3 hours to go to her wards Pioneer Day Activity, (I believe it's to celebrate the day the Mormon pioneers arrived in the Salt Lake Valley, July 24th). The kids didn't want to leave, but it was a fun day. We got to her church at 5:15, and had a little dinner. Then Lisa and I started slicing up pies for a pie judging contest. It took forever, there were about 15 pies. I hate cutting pies, because especially if it's a fruit pie, it makes it look so ugly, the fruit spreads everywhere and the crust breaks into pieces. It still tastes good, but it doesn't look pretty anymore. We missed the square dancing while we were doing all this. We had cut one SMALL slice for all 3-4 judges to share. So even though we only ate one or two bites of each kind of pie, I was feeling sick. Definitely didn't try to record those calories on My Fitness Pal app. The party was fun, and Amory offered to take the kids back home so Lisa and I could go out for a little while. We went to a Nordstrom's outlet she wanted to check out. Then we stopped at a Super Target to get a few groceries.
     Sunday (7/21) we got up to go to church. They, too, are on the 9am schedule. She is a counselor in Primary, like me. So I stayed down there with her. It was her turn to do Sharing Time. Cameron didn't want to go to Young Men's so he hung out in the back with me. We came home and had left over hot dogs from the ward party last night, and macaroni and cheese. I probably would've stopped there. But I'm always impressed that the Booher's try to make every meal healthy. They cut up mango, and apples, and had raw carrots, spinach salad, and cherries, so everyone could find something they'd like. After we cleaned up, Lisa and Amory thought it'd be fun to go house hunting. They plan to really start looking early next year, but still wanted to check out some neighborhoods now. They invited me to go with them, and Cameron babysat the kids. I think they mostly watched TV down in the basement. I thought Cameron would complain, but he didn't. I had asked Lisa, kind of randomly, if she thought those cheap pregnancy tests were accurate, since it was Sunday, and I still hadn't gotten my period. She said, NO!! And suggested we get another one. So after looking a some cool houses, (some with no backyards, because they were built on the side of a mountain) I fell asleep on the drive home. We got home and made spaghetti for dinner. After we cleaned up, her and I ran to Walmart (they have a version called Walmart Market that isn't super store, it's just a grocery store) and got box with 2 pregnancy tests, and rented a movie for the kids from Redbox. I tried to take a test that night, but I didn't have much pee, and I missed the stick. So i just went to bed.
About 2am I got up the pee, like I do a million times a night, so I figured what the hey, I'll try the test. I normally say a little prayer before I take each test, that it will be positive, or that if it's not I won't be too discouraged. But I had to go so bad, and was so tired too, I just hurried and did it. Most of the tests I've take show one vertical line "l" in a box, as the control, and 1 or 2 vertical lines, "1" or "ll" in the next box to show pregnant or not. I was saw the control line come up, the next box had one vertical line also, and I thought, no surprise, it's negative. Then I saw a faint horizontal line start to cross the second line. Then I look at the picture printed on the stick that shows a + sign means positive for pregnant. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I immediately starting crying and thanking Heavenly Father. I felt it was a miracle, and instantly thought, it's a Girl. I was in such shock, I couldn't understand why now, after all my recent anger and jealousy, why would I now be allowed to be pregnant. I felt so guilty. I started to think maybe the second line was just a shadow, like on a digital clock when the number 5 is lit up you can still see the outline of the lines that make it into an 8. I needed a second opinion, so I knocked on Lisa's door. She didn't hear it and I didn't want to wake Amory up too. So I took a bunch of pictures to show her later. On my camera the second horizontal line looked even fainter, and I thought maybe I'm getting excited for nothing. Then I remember in the instructions it always says the appearance of 2 lines, no matter how faint, is positive. I was dying to talk to someone but it was 2am! So went back to bed, and began thinking how my life would change.
I thought of the cost of daycare, and how I would miss the baby when I had to go back to work. Just before I left on vacation I found out a night position for a tech would be available in October and had been considering taking that, now I wondered if that wold still be the best idea. I thought about how to tell Justin, the kids, our parents. Maybe I would wait till my first OB appt (usually around 8-9 weeks) that would only be a month away, then I might have a little ultrasound picture I could put in a frame and surprise Justin at work. It took at least and hour and a half to fall back asleep.
     Monday (7/22) I woke up about 8am having to pee again. I ran in there and took the second test. It looked the same. Since I knew Lisa had to get up soon, to go the dentist, I knocked on her door. She mumbled and I said is Amory still asleep, and she said no, he's already left. I said well, tell me what this looks like to you. She bolted up in bed, and said, "Did you take a test?" I showed it to her and she said, that is SO POSITIVE! She said, I didn't want to jinx you, but I have a history convincing people to take a test and it coming out positive. So we laid on her bed, talking about how to tell Justin, etc. She went off to the dentist, I fed the little kids breakfast, got the big kids up, cleaned up after breakfast, and made sandwiches to take for lunch at the zoo later that day. When Lisa got home, we headed off to the Birmingham Zoo. We ate a quick lunch under the pavilion outside, since you aren't supposed to bring food in. Lisa had a yearly pass and she took Cameron in as part of her kids. Then she got me in for free with a coupon. I only had to pay for Cody, which was like $9. We walked around a few hours, but Cameron was getting frustrated because he wanted to stand and look at every exhibit a long time, and Lisa's kids, especially the twins just wanted to keep on moving. Having the pass, they've been a million times. So she left about noon, since she had to go the work the gym. She took the twins, with her so she could put them in the gym daycare. I kept my boys, Bella, and Mary (Bella's 7 year old cousin). It rained on and off, but we had a good time, and the kids ate up all the left over snacks. After 3 more hours I was dying to leave, my feet hurt from all the walking, there weren't any benches to sit down, and I just felt tired and run down. We left and drove home. I pulled in the drive way about 4ish, and realized I didn't have a key and Lisa was working till about 6pm. I called her and Amory, to see if there was a spare hidden somewhere. No one answered. I was dying to lay down. I asked Bella if there way a park nearby, she said yes, but couldn't tell me how to get there. So I searched on my GPS and found one less than a mile away. It was awesome and the kids had fun. As I sat on the swing by my boys I decided I'd tell them I was pregnant. It had been on my mind every second of the day, and I was bored, tired, and had no one to talk about it with. So I told them I had a secret, and asked if they could be trusted. They said Yes! So I said I'm gonna have a baby. Cameron said I knew it! (cuz I had mentioned having a secret earlier) Cody kept saying, are you for real, are you joking? They said they hoped it was a girl. I saw on Facebook that the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton) had her baby today and it was a boy. I thought her of sister Pippa, and thought of the name Piper. Ithought that would be cute for a girl. I don't know how I feel about Haylee Elizabeth for a girl name any more. It's been in the back of my mind for 15 years, and not sure if it's "the one" anymore. We tried to figure out how to we were going to tell Daddy, now that the boys knew I couldn't keep it a secret for long. Plus, I was just dying to tell everyone! Lisa finally called to say she was heading home, so we got home and started making more noodles to have with left over spaghetti. Lisa asked if I wanted to see The Great Gatsby, it was playing at the $1 theatre. I said sure, it looked good. So off we went. I told her I think I knew how we could tell Justin. I would have one of the boys say the bedtime prayer, and at the end, make sure they said something like, "Thank you Heavenly Father, that mommy's going to have a baby", and see if he notices. She thought it was great idea, except they should say it at the beginning of the prayer, and then say a really long prayer, and drag it out. So that was our plan.
     Tues (7/23) we got up, finished laundry and packing and got on the road around noon. We headed home, and the GPS was estimating about a 9 hour drive. It seemed a little long since when I drove up from FL a couple years ago, I thought it was only 7-8 hours. I didn't have my mapquest directions as a backup like I had back then, and had to depend on the GPS. It wanted me to take interstates, and when I came the last time, it was mostly highways after I got off 75 in Georgia. Finally I went as far south as Montgomery, and stopped to get gas, I asked to cashier, how to get to FL. Apparently he and the GPS were trying to send me straight south, to the pan handle, and then I would've had a long drive from Panama City to Ocala. I saw a highway with a more SW approach, and got off on that exit. It was very scenic. It was hard to enjoy the drive though, never really feeling sure like I knew where I was going, and just really wanting to get home and tell Justin the big news. The kids watched a few movies, and we listened to a few CD's of A Wrinkle In Time. That is a strange story, not at all like I imagined. We eventually crossed into GA, then south to Tallahassee, then finally could get on I-10 and then over to I-75. Sure enough we were home about 10pm. The kids ran in the house, happy to be out of the car. Cody, remembered the Xbox he got on his birthday, and hadn't been able to play with while we were gone. Cameron was telling dad all about our trip. I wanted to focus them on the task at hand, which was telling dad the big news. So I called them out to help me unload the car, and said okay, we need to think of a reason to have a prayer before bed time, so we can tell Dad. At that moment, Justin comes around the corner saying, "Tell, Dad, what?" I was like oh, nothing. He said, did you get another speeding ticket. I said no nothing like that. He said, "well then just tell me". By then, me and the boys were  laughing, but Justin was just getting mad. I said, "maybe we should say a prayer." Then Justin must've thought it was really bad news, and he said firmly, NO, just tell me. This was not how I had planned for this to go down. I looked at Cameron, and he folded his arms and said I'll say the prayer. We stood there in the driveway as Cameron began the prayer, thanking Heavenly Father that mom has a baby in her belly right now. He went on praying, and I had a hard time not peeking at Justin's reaction. When he finished, and I looked up at Justin he said, "What did he just say?" I said, you heard him. I showed him the pictures on my phone of the 2 positive tests. He was pretty shocked. We came inside, and the kids ran off to play Xbox, and Justin and I sat in the living room, contemplating this life changing event. I mentioned maybe taking a night shift position, and we talked about expenses. He mentioned the van didn't get repaired while I was gone because the mechanic says there's more engine problems than he is willing to deal with, so eventually, later hopefully than sooner, will be needing a new car. Hopefully we can make it till next summer when me and Cody's hospital accounts are paid off. That will free up another $100 a month. And if we can keep Cody out of extended day this year, we can save $160 a month. We talked about how to tell Justin's parents and couldn't decide on anything really neat. I asked if he wanted to just call them and tell them. He goes I think you do. I said you wanna? He said if you want to, go ahead. So we called Mom, on speaker phone. Justin asked if she was alone, she said no, Molly was there. So she went in her room to be alone for a minute and I blurted out, We're gonna have another baby! She was excited, and asked when that happened. I said before we came on vacation apparently. Then she thought I knew the whole time I was at her house. I said no, I even took a test that was negative the last day I was there, I didn't find out till I was at Lisa's. She said Dad, was asleep, so she'd tell him tomorrow. She agreed not to tell anyone else yet.  After a few long few days I said I was going to bed. Justin said, you can get in there and thank me, now that the damage has been done. I said, um, you're forgetting, I got what I wanted, I don't need you anymore! What a Trip!